Crowding, New Environments, and Stress: Perspectives from a Rural Midwestern Family

I grew up in a small town of 1000 people in Central Illinois. I have five siblings (yeah, I know, huge family…), and I am the only one who has moved away from my hometown, choosing instead to live in Chicago. Since I moved away almost 14 years ago, I have had multiple encounters with my family that uniquely depict the concepts of crowding and the stress induced by new environments.

Driving in Chicago – Perceived Crowding

My mother is an excellent driver. She’s confident and capable, and has a far better driving record than anybody else in my family. However, she blatantly refuses to drive to my home in Chicago, explaining that Chicago traffic is horrible and overwhelming. Whenever I suggest it, she becomes visibly flustered and stressed. 

For a very long time, I found this outrageously frustrating. She is a very independent woman who regularly takes long road trips alone to visit family out of state. Moreover, she has never expressed concerns with rush-hour traffic in urban areas that she is more familiar with, which can be easily as crowded as traffic in Chicago. But, as Greenbie suggested, “its is probably not densities that cause a person to feel more or less crowded, but what (s)he thinks being crowded is.”

Regardless of whether or not the traffic in Chicago is actually worse than other traffic to which she is accustomed, my mother perceives the traffic as worse, and that is all that is required to cause her stress.

A Chicago Cubs Game – Insensitivity of a City Dweller

A year ago I invited my dad and two brothers to a Cubs game at Wrigley Field, which is a short walk from my apartment in Chicago. About 30 minutes before the game, we left my apartment to walk to the stadium. As we walked, I pointed out things that were important to me: the local grocery store, a friend's apartment building, the library, but they seemed relatively uninterested. Instead, they stopped me to ask me how the EL train worked or to point out random buildings with unique architecture.

Then at one point, we met a gentleman on a street corner who appeared to be homeless. My youngest brother who was about 11 at the time asked what he was doing there, and I explained that he was likely homeless. My brother was very upset by this, and ultimately asked to go back and give him some money (to which, of course, I obliged).

Looking back now, I realize why the buildings/landmarks that my family asked about were different from those that I mentioned. As Milgram described, I have developed a mental map of my neighborhood, which focuses on those landmarks/situations that are important to me. I effectively ignore all other buildings to prevent overload. Along these lines, I ignored the homeless gentleman on the corner, showing little compassion for him, whereas my brother who had not yet adopted the impersonal aloofness of a city-dweller was moved by the man’s situation.  

Ann Arbor – The BIG City

Three weeks ago, I invited my family to a Michigan football game. All 5 of my siblings came, along with my 3 nephews and my parents. They arrived on Saturday morning and got caught in game-day traffic, adding about 30 minutes onto their trip. When they finally arrived, my youngest sister looked me straight in the eye and says, “I don’t know how you handle all of these people or this traffic! This is why I could NEVER live in a big city.”

As the day wore on, I found myself getting overwhelmed. There were 10 extra people in my small apartment. People were all over the place. I found myself getting short with my guests, and when they finally left, I swore that I’d never host all of them in my home again.

In retrospect, the dichotomies in this story are not just funny; they also perfectly demonstrate how perception plays a role in crowding. For my sister, Ann Arbor really is a big city, even if I think that Ann Arbor is barely more than a large town. Similarly, I was overwhelmed with feeling crowded in my home, but nobody else expressed any concerns as they are accustomed to being together in a large group.

Discussion Questions

Reflecting on these experience, a couple of discussion questions come to mind:

1.     How often do I ignore others’ perceptions around crowding and new environments instead assuming that they share my own perceptions? And, how can I learn to be more aware of others’ perceptions around crowding and new environments?

2.     How can being more aware of others perceptions play into the creation of more inclusive, less stressful work spaces or community spaces?

References
Milgram, S. "The experience of living in cities." Science, 13 March 1970, 167, 1461-1464,1468.
Greenbie, B. "Social Territory, Community Health, and Urban Planning" Journal of the American Institute of Planners, 40 - 2, March 1974, p. 74-82.