Where would you go for a first date with someone?

First dates can be awkward and unnerving, even if the person of interest is no stranger. First dates often dictate the prospect of second dates and more. If done right, a first date can become a piece of magical memory both parties can look back on fondly. But if done wrong, it can leave one or both parties looking for an eternal exit in distaste. Therefore, when planning for a first date with someone special, one must carefully choose an environment that is right for the occasion.

If you are thinking about a coffee shop or a restaurant for a first date, you are not alone. According to Refinery29 (2016), Starbucks is the most popular venue for first dates. The survey results from the 200,000 users of Clover, a dating app and the source for Refinery29, show that the top 30 hotspots consist of popular coffee shops, restaurants, and bars, from Tim Hortons to LongHorn Steakhouse. Granted that this survey only considered franchised establishments, it is still no surprise that the entire list is necessarily venues around food and drinks. Moreover, coffee shops and restaurants of casual ambience make up the top rank for the first-date destination. The top five locations after Starbucks are, in decreasing order, Chipotle, Panera Bread, the Cheesecake Factory, Texas Roadhouse, and Buffalo Wild Wings. So why this pattern of preferred environments for a first-date? Are these venues really conducive to our information-processing needs for assessing and getting to know someone? Here are the breakdowns in the context of coffee shops according to the four principles of the Environment Preference Theory.

Source: http://www.refinery29.com/2015/04/85149/popular-first-date-location

For starter, food satisfies a basic human need and is a universal preferred way to socialize, bond, and celebrate in groups. In the case of dating, food provides some comfort in the uncomfortable process of getting to know someone.

Coherence

Coffee shops are designed for many activities, but one in particular is the enjoyment of coffee beverages and conversations. Charming decors hanging from walls, themed furniture, dimmed lighting, and soft background music provide enough coherence that does not overload one’s sensory or channel capacity. This coherence is further enhanced by people perpetuating the activities of coffee drinking and conversations. In addition, one can reorganize his or her immediate surrounding to an extent of desirability by moving furniture around. This gives the party some control over the physical space between them and the crowd as well as the relative spacing between the individuals.

Complexity

Coffee shops are often designed to deliver soft but rich environmental stimulations while preserving the room for conversations. The soft music, the chatting noise of people, and the aroma of espresso brewing in the background provide enough involuntary fascination to prevent the entirety of one’s attention on the other person, thus easing the nerve-wrack from the engagement. The act of drinking and being able to fiddle with a cup in one’s hand also provides some healthy distraction. Furthermore, the background noise from the surrounding provides a noise buffer for private conversations. At the same time, these noises and distractions elicit the need for active listening since one must exert directed attention to engage meaningfully in the conversation in such a setting. Thus one can quickly assess whether the other person is expressing genuine interest.

Legibility

Coffee shops are often designed for accessibility for the busy people who just want to grab and go, with identifiable entrances and easily maneuverable interior layout. This simple layout provides the necessary legibility and reassurance of a quick and easy escape route in the event that one is needed. In such case, one can readily make an exit disguised as a trip to the bathroom.

Mystery

The variety of elements in a coffee shop, in terms of its décor, ambient illumination scheme, alluring smells, and even people provides a venue for mystery in just about every direction one looks. Take lighting for example, the contrast between well lit areas and dimly lit spaces of the shop educe not only attention to the well-lit but also an urge to look closely at the dimly-lit. In this setting, choosing to sit in a partially lit corner of the coffee shop can help to evoke a sense of mystery for the party, drawing one to observe the other more closely for facial expressions, body gestures, and to find out more.

Given these attributes, a coffee shop can indeed be a preferred environment for a fabulous first date. However, since not all coffee shops are created equal, one must still choose wisely the exact venue for the occasion. As a coffee-lover, a coffee shop is a perfect venue for me, though I would pick a local coffee shop over a franchised one to add to the uniqueness of the experience.